FF story 1 : at Mc Donalds

[The_Turks]

One day the FF crew happened to pop into Mc Donald’s

Tifa was the first to order

Tifa: Hiya !
Till Clerk: Oh fricken shit! don't scare me like that *bitch*
Tifa: Wh..a..t was that!?!
Till Clerk: Hmm oh oh nowt (God look at the size of her tits!... there HUGE!!!)
Tifa: Hmm yea can I have mmm oh... nah mmm (OMG! is cloud looking at my ass again jeesh)
Till Clerk: (God who'd they get that big!!!)
*The staff looked down at her shirt*
Tifa: Halloo my face is up here... OH I’ll have a happy meal
Till Clerk: What size chips and coke, natural? OH I mean Normal yea normal !?!(Phew saved there)
Tifa: CLOUD STOP LOOKING AT MY ****ING ASS YOU SPIKEY HEADED PERVE!!!!.... oh yea sure
Till Clerk: Your meal will be with you in a minute( DAMN! look at that fine ass)

Tifa walks off to collect her meal

2 minutes later
Cloud walks up next to be served
Till Clerk: Hey nice friend you got there, her boobs are huge man I’d love a piece of that meat
Cloud: Yea you'd wanna bang her too, but it's her y'know time of month
Till Clerk: Oooh tough luck man, so what you ordering?
Cloud: Hmm Large Pepsi... not diet, Large Fries.. extra salt, beef burger, chicken burger, smoothes, chicken sandwich, another chicken burger, even ore chicken, aww hell 5 more chicken burgers.
Till Clerk: Fat ass *cough cough* Your feast will be ready soon...maybe
half an hour after Cloud and the Till Clerk finish talking about Tifa's tits

Cloud ***** off and gets his eating pants ready

Barret waltz's up to the Till
Barret: Yo ma brotha I’ll be having de same has spiky ova there
Till Clerk: Sure nigga
Barret: What did you call me punk! *grabs the clerk* I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY PUNK!!!! *shoots randomly and kills Yuffie and Cait Sith* Oooh crap... oh the hell no one likes them anyway
Till Clerk: **** ME! Y-your meal w-will b-be ready in a m-minute s-s-sir
*Barret walks of towards Cloud and slaps his ass*

15 minutes later

*Walks in Kimahri in dressed as a Chinese prostitute*
Kimahri: Hey big boy wanna dollar?
Till Clerk: Holy ****!!!! What is your order sir... ma'am
Kimahri: You, me, bathroom five minutes... I’ve been A BAAAD girl, I need a spanking *licks his lips in a sexy manor*
Till Clerk: Sure i got some time and some cash... i just got some customers to serve first
*Kimahri walks off towards the toilets and before he enters them he spanks his ass*

4 minutes on...
Zidane and Red walk up together
Zidane: Hiya!!! hey darling two b ii ig whoppers you call burgers... extra large
Red: Ooooh me too dear.. hmmm i can taste it already, ooh the pleasure of the taste buds
Till Clerk: R ii ght.. two extra large burgers coming up, would you like anything else?
Zidane and Red: Ooooh anything else you say
Red: There are things which one man cannot give us love... how ever manly he may be mmmyes
Zidane: Oh you go girl!
Till Clerk: Hey are you two gay?
Zidane: Are you saying that we take it up the back passage? Can't two straight men walk into a restaurant without being classified as bum buddies!?!
Red: How very dare you!
*Both*: Sniff sniff
Till Clerk: Dudes chill, i was just curious
Zidane: Curious aye? We can show you many many things of curiosity
Red: Mmyes we know a lot from our rather close experience
Till Clerk: OH GOD NO! i mean no thanks i'll pass
Kimahri: I'm w aai ting!!

Zidane and Red walk off and sit rather close to each other eating the same burgers going towards a kiss

Sephiroth walks up as the last customer

Till Clerk: What'll it be(WTF! why'd he bring a fricken sword?)
Sephiroth: Yea i'll have medium coke aaaand chicken nuggets medium sized
Till Clerk: Would you like 4, 6 or 12 chicken nuggets sir
Sephiroth: Hmmm i did say medium you deaf asshole!!!, but better make it 12
Till Clerk: Sorry we're out of chicken nuggets
Sephiroth WHAT! ok a chicken burger
Till Clerk: O..k.. salt?
Sephiroth: no just ketchup
Till Clerk: Sorry sir out of chicken burgers
Sephiroth: You better be ****ing lying you son of a bitch.... how bout a ****ing chicken sandwich
Till Clerk: Would you like anything on that sir?
Sephiroth: No(**** sake man i wanna chicken, me wanna chicken!!)
Till Clerk: So orry sir we have no bread or rolls left,,,
Sephiroth: Well just give me the god damn chicken!!
Till Clerk: Ok... ooh it appears we have no chicken either, those two men happened take the whole supplies
Sephiroth: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! you son of a bitch i'll kill you and your family DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIE *Raises sword a chops the Till Clerks head off*
Sephiroth: Oooooh Cloud i have a gift for you, your ass is mine bitch *kills Cloud for the chicken*

Sephiroth sits down near Barret and steals Clouds chicken

Zell walks on in
Zell: Hellooo anyone gonna serve me? Hellooo I’m waiting *tears start coming out of Zells eyes*
five minutes later
Zell: OH MY GOD! is that the time.. i'm gonna ****ing miss Trisha, TRISHA I'M COMING!!! *Zell runs out the door to catch Trisha on TV*
Sephiroth: ****ing chicken wuss *he says while a huge chicken burger is in his mouth*

[Tharrick]

... that was appalling.

[Scott]

... that was appalling.

That’s a way to describe it. I saw it and didn't want to comment, wanted to be nice, but your right.

My hats off to you for the effort but it is pretty bad. Writing just about the characters swearing and making crappy perverted comments ain’t much of a story/fiction, is it?

[alexanderpas]

i think seph is a little.... mild :D

[Seraphis]

Good effort but.. I think something more tasteful would be much better to grab the attention of an audience ^^;; (and I dont mean the chicken xD)

[The_Turks]

just so you all know it wasn't that kind of story, it was just a five minute piece of work and i wanted to see what people thought of it. I've shown other people it and they ****ing loved it so you can take your comments and shove them up your fat arse's so **** you.:upset:

[Dale Anthony]

just so you all know it wasn't that kind of story, it was just a five minute piece of work and i wanted to see what people thought of it. I've shown other people it and they ****ing loved it so you can take your comments and shove them up your fat arse's so **** you.:upset:

Yeah, okay kid. First off...this may be a Final Fantasy website but don't be sad. Don't make that game...like...your life. Why not write something original that isn't to do with RPG Characters? Writing about RPG characters like they're real...is very sad and if you were so offended of people's opinions on that "five minute piece of work" you obviously don't have a life. Get out more often or you're gonna end up a COMPLETE geek.

[Tharrick]

I've shown other people it and they ****ing loved it

What were they, ten?
Shall I explain WHY I find it appalling?
a) Your portrayal of the characters is far from accurate, in fact it's so inaccurate that it causes physical pain
b) Your writing style is the worst quality I've ever seen in any fan fiction anywhere on the internet. There may be worse, but I have yet to come across any.
c) Your random use of vulgarity doesn't even carry comedy value - you've gone right through 'comedy' vulgar and out the other side
d) Your setting and non-canon characters are badly thought and badly written
e) Your rapage of the english language makes me cringe


you can take your comments and shove them up your fat arse's so **** you.
If you didn't want comments, you probably shouldn't have posted it on an internet forum.

[Dale Anthony]

c) Your random use of vulgarity doesn't even carry comedy value - you've gone right through 'comedy' vulgar and out the other side.

This also would clearly signify his lack of female attention, thus writing about a computer game character's boobs. Not funny, just incredibly saddening that this guy's life revolves around a fictional character's pixel tits.

Yeah, that might be harsh Turk but I'm sure a girl would say ALOT worse to you.

[The_Turks]

Yea that would be offending if i was straight but it's a script, and just cause i've wrote this story in the spare time i haddoesn't mean i'm a geek or have no life. i have a life and also this is like the first thing i've wrote and i know i'm not much of a writer and well if you're all obcessed with calling people geeks because they write a story about final fantasy characters, i guess i'll have to stick to drawing but i'm gonna keep writing these if you like it or not.

[Tharrick]

http://nastyhobbit.wordpress.com/files/2005/10/grammartime.gif

[The_Turks]

and the point in that was.....

[Dale Anthony]

Yea that would be offending if i was straight but it's a script, and just cause i've wrote this story in the spare time i haddoesn't mean i'm a geek or have no life. i have a life and also this is like the first thing i've wrote and i know i'm not much of a writer and well if you're all obcessed with calling people geeks because they write a story about final fantasy characters, i guess i'll have to stick to drawing but i'm gonna keep writing these if you like it or not.

Okay...

Well, not that your sexuality was the main point of this argument but fair enough. I meant you were a geek because you brought Final Fantasy into a pervy dialect. Why not...go rent a porno...with real people? But yeah, I didn't say stop writing...feel free to write more stuff just expect more criticism if again it's that incredibly bad (and backing Tharrick's point...done in terrible grammar).

Although, at least you'll admit it's the first thing you've wrote...don't give up your day job though...if you have one. ¬_¬

[Tharrick]

and the point in that was.....
That a man who's lived his entire life in a cave with his eyes closed and his fingers in his ears has a better grasp of the english language than you displayed in that post

[The_Turks]

hey man i'm just a teenager so i don't have a day job and i haven't even left school yet. and the reason i wrote final fantasy like that is just that me and my friends joke about final fantasy when we are bored and i decided to write a story about a few of the things (and i do admit that i took some of it too far) and my friends seemed to like the story's that i've wrote but i thought to see what other people thought of it, so at least you read it :P

[Tharrick]

hey man i'm just a teenager so i don't have a day job and i haven't even left school yet.
I was writing proper english far before I left school. So many people think 'I'm a teenager!' is an excuse for raping the language


the reason i wrote final fantasy like that is just that me and my friends joke about final fantasy when we are bored and i decided to write a story about a few of the things
And now you've been introduced to the concept of an 'in-joke'.
If I were to say to you, [toilet flush], I'm sure you'd find nothing particularly funny about it. Since the 'funny' parts of your story all reference jokes between you and a group of friends, none of us get where you're coming from.

[The_Turks]

Yea sorry about that... i guess i am indeed better of with drawing, anyway since you love criticising my work how about you criticise some of my artwork i don't mind.

[Tharrick]

since you love criticising my work
I criticise everything, don't take it personally :P



how about you criticise some of my artwork i don't mind.
Maybe tomorrow when I'm not 5 minutes off running out to a house party :P