lukeman
23-06-2006, 14:33
What would happen if Altair (from upcoming PS3 game "Assasin's Creed") got totally smashed before missions. Enjoy!
Altair put his glass down. As he did so he looked over at the sundial just outside the window. He saw the angle of the shadow. "Almost 38 degrees o'clock," he muttered to himself, "bugger". His latest mission from the Brotherhood was about to be executed. He was supposed to assassinate... that guy... you know, the one with all the hair? Bugger, he thought again, I should write this stuff down. He put his glass down. After a moment he realized he'd already done that, so he picked it up again. He put his glass down and felt a wetness running down his leg. He was annoyed to find he'd spilt beer on his cloak, and that was gonna leave a stain. Muttering murderous rage towards whoever it was that designed beer so runny and stainy, he stumbled out of the tavern. In front of his a huge crowd was gathered in the town square. Far away from him, on a wooden platform, an important looking man stood up to address the crowd. Altair was annoyed - all the people in the crowd seemed to have hair. Half of them were guys, too. Altair was faced with two choices: kill everyone, or go back to the brotherhood and ask them to repeat his task. As he mulled over his options, and decided to take the initiative and have one more drink before making his final decision.
Ten pints later, at almost half-past 50 degrees, Altair had another brainstorm. The man he was supposed to kill would be making a speech! This narrowed it quite alot. As far as he could see, there was only one man talking at the moment, and he was quite handily standing on top of a wooden platform, speaking. Altair began to make his way through the crowd. Gently edging through, nudging people aside, passing out, creeping up onto the platform, killing the man, realizing he was unconcious, waking up, and continuing through the crowd. It was a lengthly process, and the man was just wrapping up his speech when Altair reached the platform. The assassin leapt up and struck his victim with the speed and agility of a cheetah with three broken legs and a bad case of constipation, before turning back to the crowd to make his escape. He ran at full speed through the swarms of men and women, who allowed him to pass in much the same fasion as a brick wall would. After mere minutes of executing his tactical evacuation plan he had dubbed "getting the f**k out", he came to the river. Acting on a whim of pure cunning, he leapt into the river. After a few minutes of drifting, a sudden wave of nausea hit him,. Perhaps because of the alcohol? Perhaps because of seasickness? Perhaps the view of the boats chasing him down the river. Bugger, thought Altair.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Comments please! Add your own if you feel like it.
Altair put his glass down. As he did so he looked over at the sundial just outside the window. He saw the angle of the shadow. "Almost 38 degrees o'clock," he muttered to himself, "bugger". His latest mission from the Brotherhood was about to be executed. He was supposed to assassinate... that guy... you know, the one with all the hair? Bugger, he thought again, I should write this stuff down. He put his glass down. After a moment he realized he'd already done that, so he picked it up again. He put his glass down and felt a wetness running down his leg. He was annoyed to find he'd spilt beer on his cloak, and that was gonna leave a stain. Muttering murderous rage towards whoever it was that designed beer so runny and stainy, he stumbled out of the tavern. In front of his a huge crowd was gathered in the town square. Far away from him, on a wooden platform, an important looking man stood up to address the crowd. Altair was annoyed - all the people in the crowd seemed to have hair. Half of them were guys, too. Altair was faced with two choices: kill everyone, or go back to the brotherhood and ask them to repeat his task. As he mulled over his options, and decided to take the initiative and have one more drink before making his final decision.
Ten pints later, at almost half-past 50 degrees, Altair had another brainstorm. The man he was supposed to kill would be making a speech! This narrowed it quite alot. As far as he could see, there was only one man talking at the moment, and he was quite handily standing on top of a wooden platform, speaking. Altair began to make his way through the crowd. Gently edging through, nudging people aside, passing out, creeping up onto the platform, killing the man, realizing he was unconcious, waking up, and continuing through the crowd. It was a lengthly process, and the man was just wrapping up his speech when Altair reached the platform. The assassin leapt up and struck his victim with the speed and agility of a cheetah with three broken legs and a bad case of constipation, before turning back to the crowd to make his escape. He ran at full speed through the swarms of men and women, who allowed him to pass in much the same fasion as a brick wall would. After mere minutes of executing his tactical evacuation plan he had dubbed "getting the f**k out", he came to the river. Acting on a whim of pure cunning, he leapt into the river. After a few minutes of drifting, a sudden wave of nausea hit him,. Perhaps because of the alcohol? Perhaps because of seasickness? Perhaps the view of the boats chasing him down the river. Bugger, thought Altair.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Comments please! Add your own if you feel like it.