The Last Step

[AkitaToma]

Take my hand,
I'll take you away.

You are lingering,
at the edge of the cliff.
All judgement on just one more step.
Should you just let the wind guide,
and take away your life?
You turn to me and say:
"This is the right way."

Take my hand,
I'll take you away.
I am your friend,
And I won't let you go away.

If you stay,
Your life will be whittled away
Are you just going to let them,
Take you away?
They're bound to destroy you.
And you turned to me today:
"I must do what they say."

Take my hand,
I'll take you away.
As your friend
I won't let them take you away.

I watch you walk,
down the path you've taken.
I know I've lost you,
to this life you've chosen.
And I shake my head,
as you tell me something new:
"This is what I have to do."

Take my hand
I'll take you away.
I'll be your friend,
Please don't go away.

And now all I can do,
is watch you go.
You have chosen your path.
Now you take the final step.
And slip off the cliff.
All I see,
Is one last fleeting glance.
That seems to say:
"This was the wrong way"

[Depu Techiikue]

This felt more like lyrics to a song =P

But I really liked the structure to this piece, I like how the ending was built up. Another sad piece, but it was enticing at the same time. I like the metaphors and the analogies in this piece, too. You're good at keeping the poems complex. Keep posting more poems. :P

[AkitaToma]

This felt more like lyrics to a song =P

But I really liked the structure to this piece, I like how the ending was built up. Another sad piece, but it was enticing at the same time. I like the metaphors and the analogies in this piece, too. You're good at keeping the poems complex. Keep posting more poems. :P


I think that was my original idea, but I still classifiy it as poetry. ^.^ I'm glad you like it.

[Dark Sephiroth]

its great, you're good at your poetry and i like writers on the forum.

[lanaia74]

Very creative! Your words flowed like music! VERY well done!